Excuse Me, I Would Like to Criticize Your Work
How do you tell the truth?
I have never understood the use of falsely positive feedback.
A few examples:
- Your new article was magnificent, someone might say, even though it sucks.
- I love this painting, some person might say, even though a 5-year-old kid has more talent.
- What a lovely voice you have, someone might say, even though the singing made them wish they could not hear anything.
I do not know about you, but I hate bullshit feedback based on lies. Whenever I get feedback myself, I cannot ever know if they mean I did good work. Maybe they are not willing to make me feel upset. I am never sure. It annoys the hell out of me.
It is human behavior if you do not want to make anyone feel bad. Completely understandable. You do not want anyone to give you any negative feedback, do you? Thus, you do not give any negative feedback to others. Remember the golden rule. Treat others as you like to be treated.
An example of destroying criticism:
Sometimes, I feel like I’ve got enough. Toxic positivity makes me want to vomit. I want to say go to hell. Go to hell with your make-me-happy feedback. Please, don’t come back. Tear me apart with your criticism. Make me cry. Make me want depressed. But for higher power’s sake, don’t you dare to give me any more falsely positive feedback.
Sorry for that.
I am not sorry I wrote it because I meant it. I apologize because no one wants to read anything like that. I should’ve said it more constructively. Let’s try again.
An example of constructive criticism:
Excuse me, but I have I feeling your feedback is not sincere. I’ve felt like this for a long time. First, I thought you would say what’s in your mind at some point. It has continued so long I’ve lost my hope that it would happen. I am frustrated with your feedback. You always say my work is perfect. It simply cannot be the truth. I want to get better at what I do, but it’s hard. I’d hope you would give some constructive criticism. My co-workers would also appreciate it. Thank you.
I hope the last one was easier to read. At least it was meant to be.
My point:
We need to hear the truth. Whenever we get feedback, we need to know the truth. It can happen in many ways, the action of telling the truth. You can be a cynically critical and gritty nihilist. Paint the worst picture of the situation. Still, there’s a better way of telling the truth. You can be empathetic, kind, and sincere. There’s no need to destroy anyone’s mental stability.
Yes, treat others like you would like to be treated. Not by telling them, they are always amazing. Not by telling them that they have done everything right in cases in which they have done something wrong.
Treat others like you would like to be treated by telling people the kind version of the truth.
